Relationship Inventory

In facing the end of one’s life, either your own or someone you care for, knowing the quality of relationships is essential to the quality of end times. A death means that there is no more opportunity to tell the person who died how you feel about them or to learn any more how they feel about you. Too often, there is regret for those that remain and the quality of the death of the person who has passed is diminished in the case that uncertainty or negativity remains. Too often, the actual time of actually dying is confused or interrupted by people, family and/or friends, who use that time to mend or communicate feelings that could/should have been dealt with earlier. If you are considering/facing your own death, now is a good time to stop and evaluate your important relationships with others while there is still time for clarification, reconciliation or communication. If you are aware that your relationship with someone who is dying needs clarification, reconciliation or communication, now is the time to initiate contact and expression of your feelings, especially if they are unknown, unclear or wrong. There is a great deal of evidence that the quality of one’s dying, that is the ease by which one gives up this physical life for whatever is next, is impacted by things that need to be said or remain unsaid. Often people with unresolved relationships linger in their dying until relationships are healed or reconciled. And for those facing serious illness, studies have shown that those with unresolved relationships that impact their inner peace, have a higher mortality rate, longer times in the hospital and less receptivity to medical interventions. There is no time like the present to inventory important relationships and act on clarifying, reconciling or communicating those relationships.